When insomnia kicks in ...

Can't sleep tonight, staying at my parent's house, it's 3 in the morning. Can't be more somber than ever. Not worrying, not upset by anything, I guess I blame the black tea of the Chinese restaurant.

On a saturday night, around this time, I could easily be half drunk, being hammered by post-drunk headaches and in deep dream-less sleep, with shoes still on my feet.

Or I would be tired from a week's errands, work, chores, mundane daily routines and felt into light sleep of dreaming weird things that I don't remember the next morning.

But not tonight. It's a sleepless night tonight.

I could remember on a insominiac night like this, I would be scribbling my notepad with to-dos and ideas for projects. Some of those on my list would be my own website, a painting about the scene outside my window, my headboard, my unfinished piece of jewellry... so on, so forth.

Yet tonight, with Coralie Clement's voice singing softly in the background, I am thinking... Is it a blessing to not have anyone to worry, to miss? Or is it a shame? Would I be the subject of the wandering mind of someone who's also awake in the middle of the night?

I wonder.

Without sounding like Carrie in Sex in the City pondering about relationships, it always hard for an individual to take a position in relationship. When you are single, you long for meeting someone. When you are with someone, you wonder will it last. There's always worries and concerns on the back of your mind. In the game of finding luv, I especially like one of her quotes, "some people are settling down, some people are settling, some people never settles for anything less." Is "settling down" settling in some way? With limited supply of subject of affection, is it even possible to not to settle anything for less? Is there such thing as "the one"?

I wonder.

At 3:21 am, it's starless and quiet in the sky of Markham.

A beautiful quote to share...

I read this from someone's blog here... it's so well written that I have to put it up here...

"After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plan your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... That you really are strong. And that you really do have worth."

-Veronica A. Shoffehall

Dailysonic: A Free MP3zine

As every mundane work day would entail... what a nice surprise today I found this A Free MP3zine. Everyday, there's a new episode you can download. I never thought of magazine could be "heard" instead of "read". The articles of the magazine are clips of music, interesting stories, news or views be read out aloud for you. When you are sick of all the MP3 you download frome Limewire or Napster. Try Dailysonic.